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Friends call me Toby. Frozen pizzas call me ملتهم من نوعنا, or “The Devourer of our Kind”.
You can find me running, climbing, reading, or woodworking (poorly), but I doubt you'll find me at all because if Big-Armed-Brett-to-Whom-I-Owe-a-Debt hasn’t, you certainly won’t.*
If you'd like to contact me nonetheless, try me at Tobiasschwartz73@gmail.com. Make sure to include your favorite Melissa McCarthy movie. Those who select The Happytime Murders will not receive a response.
Copywriter. Screenwriter. Devourer of frozen pizzas.
*Big-Brett, you beautifully-bicep’d-brute, if you’ve somehow become a Chicagoland talent recruiter, I apologize for the above comments, I have your money—I always have!—and I’m sure I’m a wonderful fit for whatever it is you’re hawking.
Toby Schwartz
I Can't Draw, 2025
​Ink on paper, 4"x2"
Recognition
Young Shits Advertising Club Competition 2025
Runner-up for Fairlife
The Crowbar Awards 2026
Silver Crowbar for Dollar Tree
Experience
Copywriter Allied Vaughn Aug 2025-Present
Freelance Copywriter Fooda Oct 2025-Present
Copywriting Intern Fusion92 Jun 2025-Aug 2025
Video Playback Coordinator The Morning Show (Apple TV) Jul 2022-Apr 2023
Media Services Manager The Dr. Phil Show Sep 2018-May 2022
Education
Lafayette College
B.A. in English
Chapman University
M.F.A. in Screenwriting